Thursday, November 15, 2012

7. Son dies after mother exchanges faith in life for faith in religion



http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2233084/Sara-Ege-trial-Mother-accused-murdering-seven-year-old-son-failing-learn-Koran-video-confession-days-after.html

When mother Sara made her son Yaseen learn parts of the Koran by heart, things went horribly wrong. Sara hit Yaseen with a stick whenever he did not perform according to her standards or when she got frustrated with him while learning the Koran. The day of his death he was still swollen from being beaten by his mother the previous time. Sara confessed that she was out of control and that she beat her son for almost no reason. She blames her anger for harming her son who, as she said, she loves so much. Sara had made vows to herself not to hit him, but had repeatedly broken them within days.

After the final beating, Yaseen soiled himself and collapsed. Sara undressed him and dragged him to the kitchen to feed him milk. While lying naked on the kitchen floor Yaseen was still reciting parts from the Koran. After sipping some milk Yaseen was dragged and pushed along a corridor to his bedroom. Sara told him to get dressed, but Yaseen wasn't capable of anything at that stage, while still reciting the Koran. So Sara dressed him like handling a baby. She left Yaseen on a rug by his bed, while believing that he was asleep and exhausted from reciting. When she returned 10 minutes later, Yaseen was shaking and shivering on the floor. Sara said he made funny gulping-like noises and his mouth was going very funny. Finally he gulped his last breath when a greenish yellow liquid came from his nose.

Sara knew that Yaseen was gone when she tried to lift him up, but his heart was no longer beating. Sara couldn't believe it was for real, six weeks before he recovered from the same kind of beating. She was pulling her hair in the mirror to convince herself she was still within reality. Sara got angry with herself when Yaseen was gone and she went downstairs to get a lighter and a bottle of bbq gel after deciding to burn his body and get rid of the evidence. I was scared and nervous Sara said, yet she denies a single charge of murder and a charge of perverting the course of justice.

When we have to pull our hair in the mirror in order to determine whether we are still within reality, it clearly shows the mind possession we're in. Possessed by religion and valuing belief over life. We can blame anger for not being in control, but really is it? Aren't we just angry that we cannot live up to our religious standards that we've set for ourselves. Isn't that the direction where anger and frustration comes from, when we give our self-responsibility away to a higher power? What mother in her right mind will go this far that she'd kill her own flesh and blood over reciting the Koran?

When we mothers start indoctrinating our children with our faith in religion, we perfectly know that we are imprinting a message inside our children. We perfectly well know that parenting isn't about pumping our kids full of propaganda, may it be for God/Allah/Jaweh/our nation/our consumeristic way of life, it all boils down to the same indoctrination.This indoctrination takes away the possibility for our children to grow equally to and as life without any prejudice against life in any form.

When mind possessed we grow into the animals we are and once absorbed by the mind, reality doesn't seem the same anymore and actually becomes the one and only reality. Sara only for a moment snapped out of her mind possession, when she didn't feel her son's physical heart beat anymore, regret, guilt and anger followed as within minutes and the physical reality forced itself onto Sara. Fear for this reality, which was all made up in her mind, moved her to act and eradicate all evidence by setting her child on fire. When she would have taken her self-responsibility from the day her son was born, he had looked up to her as his role model and wanted to learn the parts from the Koran without being forced, but simply from an unforced point of loyalty towards his mother. She could have assisted and supported him to comprehend what he was learning and from there on make a decision in life whether religion could be a part of his life. If Sara had not only been self-responsible, but also self-honest she could have seen that religion only feeded in to her need to be a good person and to have a higher power to clear all shit when she couldn't. She would have seen that her son's loyalty was there till he died and that she abused his loyalty to the point that she became a murderer.

Abusing the loyalty of our children seems to be harmless according to many of us, though as a mother, life is given in our hands to mold it through assisting and supporting this life as all life in the best interest of all within the physical reality we live in. There is no mind reality that can be approved of as legitimate reason to abuse life as who we are. When we refuse to be life, life should no longer be given in our hands since we form a threat to all life and we cannot be trusted with it.



I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that I did not own my son, but I was given life to nurture this life as I would have wanted to be nurtured myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that my task in life to nurture my child became nurturing my mind possession based on the religion which I helt as my truth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that religion is the truth to me, which limitate me to see my physical reality for what it is in every breath and every way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that participating within the truth activated it's very pole of it and made the religion that I performed, in my own created way, into hell on earth for my son and a lie about myself as who I am.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that beating my son with a stick is against life, even though I could not manage my urges to react and act on my frustrations and anger.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that I used my inadequate way of dealing with directing myself as an excuse to physically molest my son out of the name of a higher power and abdicating my responsibility within it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that I shut myself as life down for the sake of my believe to not really see/understand/realize to what an extend I physically abused my child and therefore not see/understand/realize what the consequences would be of my back chat and physical actions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that I am capable of dragging around with my child that has almost died and perceiving the situation as acceptable or even normal and be surprised when my child actually dies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that the beast that awoke in me, is me indeed, while I wanted to be a good religious person and set an example for my son, not seeing/undertsanding/realizing that over my dishonest way of goodness my child lost his life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that I was so scared, people would find out I was the bad person I feared to be, that I acted from this point of fear and could only come up with eradicating evidence and set fire to my son's body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that I have to live now with the consequences of my goodness while experiencing hell on earth and missing my child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that religion has bought it's way into my life till it possessed me and I surrendered my self-responsibility in the name of love, while blood is dripping from my hands and time cannot be reversed, I'm hating myself for who I've accepted and allowed to become.


I commit myself as a mother to regain my faith in life again and see life for what it really is, instead of escaping in my mind to only see myself as perfect and not being able to disguise abuse from nurturing.

I commit myself as a mother to ask for assistance and support whenever I see that reality is slipping through my fingers and fears are taking over.

I commit myself as a mother to reassess my religion and the values I have attached to it in order to assess whether the values I live by are serving life in the best interest of all and whether they can stand the test of time while I'm the directive force within it all.

I commit myself as a mother to take a course as to how the human body functions to understand/realize the physical consequences when I harm a body.

Monday, November 5, 2012

6. Pretending to be the "perfect mom"




http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2226205/Are-YOU-lying-parenting-skills-Over-half-mums-confess-telling-fibs-appear-perfect-mother.html



It seems that there is a pressure on mothers to be "perfect", which ultimately results in lying about their parenting skills while competing with their peers to look like a better parent, says parenting website "BabyCentre". According to the "BabyCentre" survey, 53% of mothers fabricate stories about their parenting skills/experiences, instead of sharing the truth/reality with others about not always doing that what is considered best for their children. The fabrications about reality consist of: lying to their midwife/health visitor, lying to their children to make their day easier, using the tv as an electronic nanny, no bedtime story but tv instead, replacing healthy dinners with sweets and chocolate, cutting corners as a parent, disliking their child, favoring one child over the other, feeling relieved to go to work and leave their children. The survey concluded that mothers on the "BabyCentre" forum confess their "not so perfect moments" and they are not shy when it comes to sharing anything about motherhood. Mothers who are online and anonymous find it therefore easier to be honest about their parenting skills and they feel supported when they find out other moms are dealing with the same problems.

Apparently there is this almost universal picture in women's minds of the "perfect mother" to which they go into comparison. Mothers think that other mothers are closer to being a "perfect mother", with the inside of how they themselves cut corners when it comes to parenting. It all stems from the point of wanting to be seen as good, since we live in this good and bad fairy tail reality. We don't want to be seen as bad, a bad mother, since we are taught that such a thing is unacceptable. We strive to be a good mother, not understanding that apart from being good, there is always the bad on the other end of the polarity. Which is exactly what plays out. We pretend to be the good mothers and within our 4 walls the bad plays out, whether it is bad or utterly evil, it's still being tangled up within polarity games.

We all like to pretend, whether a mother or not. As children we enjoy dressing up like our mothers, playing roles and while growing up we do the exact same, except than we call ourselves a mother, a father, a professional, or you name it. We think it's normal to be all these characters that society expect us to be. We think it is society, or the others, who wants us to be a "perfect role player", while completely ignoring the fact that we are society. We are part of society and we accepted and allowed these values as being a "perfect mother" to exist. So we look through the eyes of society at our own poor performance as a parent and are ashamed of it. To ease this pain we invent an entire new character, since we learned to be good at that and we become this "perfect mother". The perfect mother that has no struggles with her children, they all eat her meals, they are potty trained, sleep well and do as they are told, this mother who still has time to spent time with her girlfriends to go shopping or going to the spa, is the "fabricated mother", all other mothers are competing with.

The stress we are under as mothers is not about thinking we are not perfect enough for the outside world, no, it's about knowing that we fail at our job. While we admit anonymous on forums to be lousy parents and feeling relieved when others can relate, it's not a relieve of being off the hook. It's again comparison with peers to make ourselves believe that others are as bad, at the job, as we are or even worse. We want to become a mom, because we are brought up that way, our entire environment will encourage us to become one, so we think we want to become a mom some day. Most mom's become one, not because they planned this to happen, it simply happend through abdicating their responsibility together with their partner. That's the average mom we have, one that accidently become a parent and makes the best of it. This starting point will enhance feelings of wanting to have your own space and time, feeling that being a mom is a burden and constantly looking to cut the corners if not the complete road.

Are we certified to be a mother? Did we study to become a mother? Did we graduate as a mother? All other professions have certificates, diploma's and credentials, yet when we become a mother we are ready to go and no one will ask any questions until it is too late and the bad starts manifesting. Aren't we all the product of inexperienced and ignorant upbringing? Why would we want to pass that tradition on? Why pretend that we are good at it or even perfect, while we could take that same effort and time to really invest in our children and start to understand ourselves as human beings to become the example our children need in order to progress and end this madness that we created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that it was not free choice that I used to become a parent/mother, it was the choice of who I was in the moment of conceiving my child that determined who I became as a parent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that the starting point of who I was in the moment of choice is still playing out and as long as I am not able to face it and take it on, I will continue feeling like a lousy mom instead of the perfect mom I picture myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that being the picture in my mind of how the "perfect mom" should be, will bring me friction within my physical reality, since my mind and my physical reality are not consistent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that through manifesting/creating an inconsistant reality I'm not only in competition with my outer world but also with my inner world and therefore existing as ego as the mind with no consideration for what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that fearing to fail my mind picture as the "perfect mom" will make me irrational and not able to make decisions within common sense and therefore go forth and back within the polarity of good and bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that I can never be a stable mom who understands herself and her kids as herself as life when participating within polarity and ego, within which the result will always be not living up to the desired perfection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that what I put into my motherhood I will equally receive, which is the only measurable component that make up the equation of my motherhood.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that lying about my parenting skills towards others, equals lying to myself and being dishonest to myself, which will not be without consequences and will add up to the path that I have to walk in order to set me free of my own dishonesty and being able to act in the best interest of all always.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that I as a mother exist as self-interest from the starting point of choosing who I was in the moment of conceiving and therefore I will always experience motherhood as a burden and a task to which I have to cut the corners in order to do what I want when I want, without taking in consideration what the effects will be on my environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that pretending to be the "perfect mom" exist in my head/mind and will therefore never be measurable within my physical environment and in fact never exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that the "perfect mother" as I exist now will never emerge from me as long as I cannot be self-honest about myself as a mother while participating within polarity.

I commit myself as a mother to see/realize/understand that my starting point as a mother needs to change to be able to become a mother who is capable to stand the test of time and act in the best interest of all, which means to be the living example for my children and being able to learn from them as a reflection of me.

I commit myself as a mother to see/realize/understand that I need to make a commitment towards my children, from a point of introspective while seeing/realizing/understanding that I can stop the tradition of bringing up within ignorance, to give them a start in life to be able to become self-honest and self-responsible humans.

I commit myself as a mother to see/realize/understand that taking short cuts while being a parent will give me an end result that will be short on any level of life instructions and my children will pay the price as an consequential outflow of my ignorance.

I commit myself as a mother to see/realize/understand that being a mother doesn't mean losing my life to this one task, but instead it will mean a life task taken within self-responsiblity and self-honesty in the best interest of all.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

5. Children's bedtime puts heavy weight on parents shoulders


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2225590/New-parents-drive-1-300-miles-year-driving-children-sleep-spending-547-petrol.html


Already for ages new parents drive their babies to sleep, wherein desperate fathers are winning over the mothers. In Great Britain parents drive an average of 1,322 miles/ 2.128 km a year, while driving their babies to sleep. Parents use their cars at least once a week as a "drop-off-to-sleep" vehicle for at least half an hour. With the expensive petrol costs one can consider this way of putting ones child to sleep as an expensive nanny. Manufactures of baby car seats cleverly come in to advice the perfect seat for your dear child, in order to fall asleep in only 15 minutes.

This phenomenon of putting ones baby asleep by driving around goes even back to the fifties, so nothing new here. Besides cars many parents use household utilities such as hairdryers or vacuum cleaners to produce a monotoom noise to get the baby to sleep. No one actually questions the point of, why am I experiencing so much bedtime stress with my child. A parent almost never questions him/herself it's always the child that is unwilling or incapable to go to sleep. Not realizing that as a family one live as a family system together and what one in the system does effects all in the system.

Parents have always been tremendous insecure about their parenting skills and are willing to take on any advise from any person that labels itself as a professional. Professionals and research are strongly advising the amount of sleep in hours, what to do with your child during the day etc. When the night falls there is no professional to be found in your family system and you are on your own with an overstimulated child while you are tired from work or entertaining your child during your day.

Instead of thinking up ways to get the child to sleep we have to step back and realize that wondering why the child won't sleep is bearing the implications. When you are able to watch your child closely and start understanding and seeing when the child had enough stimuli during the day, then stop. When in the evening the house is full of noise and the child is placed in front of the tv, it will not calm down when it has had a normal day and isn't exhausted.

Before we eat we prepare our food, before we go to bed we should also prepare ourselves and not throwing in some noise and activities that keep us awake. The same counts for our child, we mostly do not go to bed at the same time every evening and so does the child have days whereas it needs less sleep or more sleep than other days. A child isn't a thing with an manual, your child is a reflection of you and when you do not treat yourself properly you most certainly are not treating your child properly. Go with the flow of the family dynamics and do not go into extremes. Always check your starting point of why you want your child to go to bed now and treat your child how you would want to be treated as a child yourself. Also here do not act from a starting point of guilt and don't go into extremes. Your child is your best parameter of how you are doing as a parent. When things go smooth, while you are really parenting and not spoiling the child for your own convenient, you are doing okay.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to hate the evenings knowing that my child will not go to sleep voluntary, which means that there will be no evening left for me to do the things I want to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to feel limited by my child that is keeping me from doing the stuff I like to do in my evenings/spare time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to see my child as a trouble maker for not wanting to sleep at night and keeping me from what I want to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to buy anything or do anything that will make my child to go to sleep as long as it doesn't take too much of my own time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to feel frustrated that I can't get my own child to sleep and lacking support from the professionals that claim to have all the answers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to feel alone in this fight of getting my child to sleep, when I ask other parents they seem not have the same problems as I have.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not express towards other parents that I have difficulties with getting my child to sleep, while fearing they will see me as a failure as a parent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to feel ashamed that I am incapable of putting my child to sleep, while feeling myself the victim of my hyperactive child that will not submit itself to my parental regime.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not understand what is wrong with my child, while I feel unwilling to look inside myself to find the answer to my problems, since the child is mine, but I experience it as separate from me while it is bullying/terrorising me with it's non sleeping behaviour.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that the environment I'm providing my child is the very reason why my child is unable to sleep at night, since there is no physical discomfort or problem that keeps my child awake.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that whenever the family system is still at full blast I can't expect my child to be calm all of a sudden and fall asleep within a snap.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that parenting isn't about using tricks and short cuts to provide me with more spare time, it's about learning from my child and walking a process of understanding the world as ourselves and learning from all the ups and downs we encounter together.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that only going for my wants and needs in life will eventually give friction between me and my child and can be a cause of why I experience lots of stress when bedtime arrives.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that having a child isn't to complete the picture I once had when longing for my own family, but is hard working and can't work when I as a parent do not put much effort in it and are only seeking for the easy way out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that the friction I experience between me and my child at bedtime is originating from the picture in my mind about being a mother and the physical reality I'm walking that isn't matching up to the picture.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that I'm mad at the outside world for not leveling with me what parenting is all about while I'm confronted now with my own created reality wherein I have a child that I am incapable of to put asleep at night.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that my anger at the outside world is the anger I feel towards myself for buying into nice pictures of having a child/family while the reality is almost always the contrary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that I am not the caring mother I pictured myself as, but see myself developing into an impatient and selfish monster that can cry for hours about the miserable life she's in.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that I am the key to all the problems I encounter with my child and that I can/have to direct my life and that of my child when it comes to sleeping at night, without using all kinds of machines to do the job for me and making a small issue into a big problem that spreads itself into the coming years of my child's life for no reason at all.

I commit myself as a mother to see/realise/understand that I am the one that controls the environment of my child and therefore I am the one that can calm down the environment in order for my child to prepare itself to go to bed.

I commit myself as a mother to no longer put my child before the tv and overstimulate my child before bedtime, but instead put it in bath and read a story even if my child is still small, it will provide my cild with a bedtime rhythm and will announce bedtime and going to sleep every time I'll start the bedtime ritual.

I commit myself as a mother to learn and see what activities are non overstimulating my child so that it is easier for my child to prepare itself together with me for it's bedtime.

I commit myself as a mother to no longer stick to bedtime hours, but instead weigh the day with it's activities and see how sleepy my child is, in order to pick the right moment to start it's bedtime ritual.

I commit myself as a mother to stick to the bedtime ritual, while not making it longer than necessary, to avoid frustrations from my side about not having enough spare time left in the evening. When using flexibel sleeping hours for my child I need to be flexible too with my spare time hours.

I commit myself as a mother to adjust the picture I had about parenting and slowly but surely go over in a momentum way of parenting taking it breath by breath equal and one to myself.