When mother Sara made her son Yaseen learn parts of the Koran by heart, things went horribly wrong. Sara hit Yaseen with a stick whenever he did not perform according to her standards or when she got frustrated with him while learning the Koran. The day of his death he was still swollen from being beaten by his mother the previous time. Sara confessed that she was out of control and that she beat her son for almost no reason. She blames her anger for harming her son who, as she said, she loves so much. Sara had made vows to herself not to hit him, but had repeatedly broken them within days.
After the final beating, Yaseen soiled himself and collapsed. Sara undressed him and dragged him to the kitchen to feed him milk. While lying naked on the kitchen floor Yaseen was still reciting parts from the Koran. After sipping some milk Yaseen was dragged and pushed along a corridor to his bedroom. Sara told him to get dressed, but Yaseen wasn't capable of anything at that stage, while still reciting the Koran. So Sara dressed him like handling a baby. She left Yaseen on a rug by his bed, while believing that he was asleep and exhausted from reciting. When she returned 10 minutes later, Yaseen was shaking and shivering on the floor. Sara said he made funny gulping-like noises and his mouth was going very funny. Finally he gulped his last breath when a greenish yellow liquid came from his nose.
Sara knew that Yaseen was gone when she tried to lift him up, but his heart was no longer beating. Sara couldn't believe it was for real, six weeks before he recovered from the same kind of beating. She was pulling her hair in the mirror to convince herself she was still within reality. Sara got angry with herself when Yaseen was gone and she went downstairs to get a lighter and a bottle of bbq gel after deciding to burn his body and get rid of the evidence. I was scared and nervous Sara said, yet she denies a single charge of murder and a charge of perverting the course of justice.
When we have to pull our hair in the mirror in order to determine whether we are still within reality, it clearly shows the mind possession we're in. Possessed by religion and valuing belief over life. We can blame anger for not being in control, but really is it? Aren't we just angry that we cannot live up to our religious standards that we've set for ourselves. Isn't that the direction where anger and frustration comes from, when we give our self-responsibility away to a higher power? What mother in her right mind will go this far that she'd kill her own flesh and blood over reciting the Koran?
When we mothers start indoctrinating our children with our faith in religion, we perfectly know that we are imprinting a message inside our children. We perfectly well know that parenting isn't about pumping our kids full of propaganda, may it be for God/Allah/Jaweh/our nation/our consumeristic way of life, it all boils down to the same indoctrination.This indoctrination takes away the possibility for our children to grow equally to and as life without any prejudice against life in any form.
When mind possessed we grow into the animals we are and once absorbed by the mind, reality doesn't seem the same anymore and actually becomes the one and only reality. Sara only for a moment snapped out of her mind possession, when she didn't feel her son's physical heart beat anymore, regret, guilt and anger followed as within minutes and the physical reality forced itself onto Sara. Fear for this reality, which was all made up in her mind, moved her to act and eradicate all evidence by setting her child on fire. When she would have taken her self-responsibility from the day her son was born, he had looked up to her as his role model and wanted to learn the parts from the Koran without being forced, but simply from an unforced point of loyalty towards his mother. She could have assisted and supported him to comprehend what he was learning and from there on make a decision in life whether religion could be a part of his life. If Sara had not only been self-responsible, but also self-honest she could have seen that religion only feeded in to her need to be a good person and to have a higher power to clear all shit when she couldn't. She would have seen that her son's loyalty was there till he died and that she abused his loyalty to the point that she became a murderer.
Abusing the loyalty of our children seems to be harmless according to many of us, though as a mother, life is given in our hands to mold it through assisting and supporting this life as all life in the best interest of all within the physical reality we live in. There is no mind reality that can be approved of as legitimate reason to abuse life as who we are. When we refuse to be life, life should no longer be given in our hands since we form a threat to all life and we cannot be trusted with it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that I did not own my son, but I was given life to nurture this life as I would have wanted to be nurtured myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that my task in life to nurture my child became nurturing my mind possession based on the religion which I helt as my truth.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that religion is the truth to me, which limitate me to see my physical reality for what it is in every breath and every way.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that participating within the truth activated it's very pole of it and made the religion that I performed, in my own created way, into hell on earth for my son and a lie about myself as who I am.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that beating my son with a stick is against life, even though I could not manage my urges to react and act on my frustrations and anger.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that I used my inadequate way of dealing with directing myself as an excuse to physically molest my son out of the name of a higher power and abdicating my responsibility within it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that I shut myself as life down for the sake of my believe to not really see/understand/realize to what an extend I physically abused my child and therefore not see/understand/realize what the consequences would be of my back chat and physical actions.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that I am capable of dragging around with my child that has almost died and perceiving the situation as acceptable or even normal and be surprised when my child actually dies.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that the beast that awoke in me, is me indeed, while I wanted to be a good religious person and set an example for my son, not seeing/undertsanding/realizing that over my dishonest way of goodness my child lost his life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that I was so scared, people would find out I was the bad person I feared to be, that I acted from this point of fear and could only come up with eradicating evidence and set fire to my son's body.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that I have to live now with the consequences of my goodness while experiencing hell on earth and missing my child.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realize that religion has bought it's way into my life till it possessed me and I surrendered my self-responsibility in the name of love, while blood is dripping from my hands and time cannot be reversed, I'm hating myself for who I've accepted and allowed to become.
I commit myself as a mother to regain my faith in life again and see life for what it really is, instead of escaping in my mind to only see myself as perfect and not being able to disguise abuse from nurturing.
I commit myself as a mother to ask for assistance and support whenever I see that reality is slipping through my fingers and fears are taking over.
I commit myself as a mother to reassess my religion and the values I have attached to it in order to assess whether the values I live by are serving life in the best interest of all and whether they can stand the test of time while I'm the directive force within it all.
I commit myself as a mother to take a course as to how the human body functions to understand/realize the physical consequences when I harm a body.