6. Pretending to be the "perfect mom"

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2226205/Are-YOU-lying-parenting-skills-Over-half-mums-confess-telling-fibs-appear-perfect-mother.html

It seems that there is a pressure on mothers to be "perfect", which ultimately results in lying about their parenting skills while competing with their peers to look like a better parent, says parenting website "BabyCentre". According to the "BabyCentre" survey, 53% of mothers fabricate stories about their parenting skills/experiences, instead of sharing the truth/reality with others about not always doing that what is considered best for their children. The fabrications about reality consist of: lying to their midwife/health visitor, lying to their children to make their day easier, using the tv as an electronic nanny, no bedtime story but tv instead, replacing healthy dinners with sweets and chocolate, cutting corners as a parent, disliking their child, favoring one child over the other, feeling relieved to go to work and leave their children. The survey concluded that mothers on the "BabyCentre" forum confess their "not so perfect moments" and they are not shy when it comes to sharing anything about motherhood. Mothers who are online and anonymous find it therefore easier to be honest about their parenting skills and they feel supported when they find out other moms are dealing with the same problems.

Apparently there is this almost universal picture in women's minds of the "perfect mother" to which they go into comparison. Mothers think that other mothers are closer to being a "perfect mother", with the inside of how they themselves cut corners when it comes to parenting. It all stems from the point of wanting to be seen as good, since we live in this good and bad fairy tail reality. We don't want to be seen as bad, a bad mother, since we are taught that such a thing is unacceptable. We strive to be a good mother, not understanding that apart from being good, there is always the bad on the other end of the polarity. Which is exactly what plays out. We pretend to be the good mothers and within our 4 walls the bad plays out, whether it is bad or utterly evil, it's still being tangled up within polarity games.

We all like to pretend, whether a mother or not. As children we enjoy dressing up like our mothers, playing roles and while growing up we do the exact same, except than we call ourselves a mother, a father, a professional, or you name it. We think it's normal to be all these characters that society expect us to be. We think it is society, or the others, who wants us to be a "perfect role player", while completely ignoring the fact that we are society. We are part of society and we accepted and allowed these values as being a "perfect mother" to exist. So we look through the eyes of society at our own poor performance as a parent and are ashamed of it. To ease this pain we invent an entire new character, since we learned to be good at that and we become this "perfect mother". The perfect mother that has no struggles with her children, they all eat her meals, they are potty trained, sleep well and do as they are told, this mother who still has time to spent time with her girlfriends to go shopping or going to the spa, is the "fabricated mother", all other mothers are competing with.

The stress we are under as mothers is not about thinking we are not perfect enough for the outside world, no, it's about knowing that we fail at our job. While we admit anonymous on forums to be lousy parents and feeling relieved when others can relate, it's not a relieve of being off the hook. It's again comparison with peers to make ourselves believe that others are as bad, at the job, as we are or even worse. We want to become a mom, because we are brought up that way, our entire environment will encourage us to become one, so we think we want to become a mom some day. Most mom's become one, not because they planned this to happen, it simply happend through abdicating their responsibility together with their partner. That's the average mom we have, one that accidently become a parent and makes the best of it. This starting point will enhance feelings of wanting to have your own space and time, feeling that being a mom is a burden and constantly looking to cut the corners if not the complete road.

Are we certified to be a mother? Did we study to become a mother? Did we graduate as a mother? All other professions have certificates, diploma's and credentials, yet when we become a mother we are ready to go and no one will ask any questions until it is too late and the bad starts manifesting. Aren't we all the product of inexperienced and ignorant upbringing? Why would we want to pass that tradition on? Why pretend that we are good at it or even perfect, while we could take that same effort and time to really invest in our children and start to understand ourselves as human beings to become the example our children need in order to progress and end this madness that we created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that it was not free choice that I used to become a parent/mother, it was the choice of who I was in the moment of conceiving my child that determined who I became as a parent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that the starting point of who I was in the moment of choice is still playing out and as long as I am not able to face it and take it on, I will continue feeling like a lousy mom instead of the perfect mom I picture myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that being the picture in my mind of how the "perfect mom" should be, will bring me friction within my physical reality, since my mind and my physical reality are not consistent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that through manifesting/creating an inconsistant reality I'm not only in competition with my outer world but also with my inner world and therefore existing as ego as the mind with no consideration for what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that fearing to fail my mind picture as the "perfect mom" will make me irrational and not able to make decisions within common sense and therefore go forth and back within the polarity of good and bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that I can never be a stable mom who understands herself and her kids as herself as life when participating within polarity and ego, within which the result will always be not living up to the desired perfection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that what I put into my motherhood I will equally receive, which is the only measurable component that make up the equation of my motherhood.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that lying about my parenting skills towards others, equals lying to myself and being dishonest to myself, which will not be without consequences and will add up to the path that I have to walk in order to set me free of my own dishonesty and being able to act in the best interest of all always.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that I as a mother exist as self-interest from the starting point of choosing who I was in the moment of conceiving and therefore I will always experience motherhood as a burden and a task to which I have to cut the corners in order to do what I want when I want, without taking in consideration what the effects will be on my environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that pretending to be the "perfect mom" exist in my head/mind and will therefore never be measurable within my physical environment and in fact never exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that the "perfect mother" as I exist now will never emerge from me as long as I cannot be self-honest about myself as a mother while participating within polarity.

I commit myself as a mother to see/realize/understand that my starting point as a mother needs to change to be able to become a mother who is capable to stand the test of time and act in the best interest of all, which means to be the living example for my children and being able to learn from them as a reflection of me.

I commit myself as a mother to see/realize/understand that I need to make a commitment towards my children, from a point of introspective while seeing/realizing/understanding that I can stop the tradition of bringing up within ignorance, to give them a start in life to be able to become self-honest and self-responsible humans.

I commit myself as a mother to see/realize/understand that taking short cuts while being a parent will give me an end result that will be short on any level of life instructions and my children will pay the price as an consequential outflow of my ignorance.

I commit myself as a mother to see/realize/understand that being a mother doesn't mean losing my life to this one task, but instead it will mean a life task taken within self-responsiblity and self-honesty in the best interest of all.