6. Pretending to be the "perfect mom"

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2226205/Are-YOU-lying-parenting-skills-Over-half-mums-confess-telling-fibs-appear-perfect-mother.html

It seems that there is a pressure on mothers to be "perfect", which ultimately results in lying about their parenting skills while competing with their peers to look like a better parent, says parenting website "BabyCentre". According to the "BabyCentre" survey, 53% of mothers fabricate stories about their parenting skills/experiences, instead of sharing the truth/reality with others about not always doing that what is considered best for their children. The fabrications about reality consist of: lying to their midwife/health visitor, lying to their children to make their day easier, using the tv as an electronic nanny, no bedtime story but tv instead, replacing healthy dinners with sweets and chocolate, cutting corners as a parent, disliking their child, favoring one child over the other, feeling relieved to go to work and leave their children. The survey concluded that mothers on the "BabyCentre" forum confess their "not so perfect moments" and they are not shy when it comes to sharing anything about motherhood. Mothers who are online and anonymous find it therefore easier to be honest about their parenting skills and they feel supported when they find out other moms are dealing with the same problems.

Apparently there is this almost universal picture in women's minds of the "perfect mother" to which they go into comparison. Mothers think that other mothers are closer to being a "perfect mother", with the inside of how they themselves cut corners when it comes to parenting. It all stems from the point of wanting to be seen as good, since we live in this good and bad fairy tail reality. We don't want to be seen as bad, a bad mother, since we are taught that such a thing is unacceptable. We strive to be a good mother, not understanding that apart from being good, there is always the bad on the other end of the polarity. Which is exactly what plays out. We pretend to be the good mothers and within our 4 walls the bad plays out, whether it is bad or utterly evil, it's still being tangled up within polarity games.

We all like to pretend, whether a mother or not. As children we enjoy dressing up like our mothers, playing roles and while growing up we do the exact same, except than we call ourselves a mother, a father, a professional, or you name it. We think it's normal to be all these characters that society expect us to be. We think it is society, or the others, who wants us to be a "perfect role player", while completely ignoring the fact that we are society. We are part of society and we accepted and allowed these values as being a "perfect mother" to exist. So we look through the eyes of society at our own poor performance as a parent and are ashamed of it. To ease this pain we invent an entire new character, since we learned to be good at that and we become this "perfect mother". The perfect mother that has no struggles with her children, they all eat her meals, they are potty trained, sleep well and do as they are told, this mother who still has time to spent time with her girlfriends to go shopping or going to the spa, is the "fabricated mother", all other mothers are competing with.

The stress we are under as mothers is not about thinking we are not perfect enough for the outside world, no, it's about knowing that we fail at our job. While we admit anonymous on forums to be lousy parents and feeling relieved when others can relate, it's not a relieve of being off the hook. It's again comparison with peers to make ourselves believe that others are as bad, at the job, as we are or even worse. We want to become a mom, because we are brought up that way, our entire environment will encourage us to become one, so we think we want to become a mom some day. Most mom's become one, not because they planned this to happen, it simply happend through abdicating their responsibility together with their partner. That's the average mom we have, one that accidently become a parent and makes the best of it. This starting point will enhance feelings of wanting to have your own space and time, feeling that being a mom is a burden and constantly looking to cut the corners if not the complete road.

Are we certified to be a mother? Did we study to become a mother? Did we graduate as a mother? All other professions have certificates, diploma's and credentials, yet when we become a mother we are ready to go and no one will ask any questions until it is too late and the bad starts manifesting. Aren't we all the product of inexperienced and ignorant upbringing? Why would we want to pass that tradition on? Why pretend that we are good at it or even perfect, while we could take that same effort and time to really invest in our children and start to understand ourselves as human beings to become the example our children need in order to progress and end this madness that we created.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that it was not free choice that I used to become a parent/mother, it was the choice of who I was in the moment of conceiving my child that determined who I became as a parent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that the starting point of who I was in the moment of choice is still playing out and as long as I am not able to face it and take it on, I will continue feeling like a lousy mom instead of the perfect mom I picture myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that being the picture in my mind of how the "perfect mom" should be, will bring me friction within my physical reality, since my mind and my physical reality are not consistent.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that through manifesting/creating an inconsistant reality I'm not only in competition with my outer world but also with my inner world and therefore existing as ego as the mind with no consideration for what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that fearing to fail my mind picture as the "perfect mom" will make me irrational and not able to make decisions within common sense and therefore go forth and back within the polarity of good and bad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that I can never be a stable mom who understands herself and her kids as herself as life when participating within polarity and ego, within which the result will always be not living up to the desired perfection.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that what I put into my motherhood I will equally receive, which is the only measurable component that make up the equation of my motherhood.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that lying about my parenting skills towards others, equals lying to myself and being dishonest to myself, which will not be without consequences and will add up to the path that I have to walk in order to set me free of my own dishonesty and being able to act in the best interest of all always.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that I as a mother exist as self-interest from the starting point of choosing who I was in the moment of conceiving and therefore I will always experience motherhood as a burden and a task to which I have to cut the corners in order to do what I want when I want, without taking in consideration what the effects will be on my environment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that pretending to be the "perfect mom" exist in my head/mind and will therefore never be measurable within my physical environment and in fact never exist.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that the "perfect mother" as I exist now will never emerge from me as long as I cannot be self-honest about myself as a mother while participating within polarity.

I commit myself as a mother to see/realize/understand that my starting point as a mother needs to change to be able to become a mother who is capable to stand the test of time and act in the best interest of all, which means to be the living example for my children and being able to learn from them as a reflection of me.

I commit myself as a mother to see/realize/understand that I need to make a commitment towards my children, from a point of introspective while seeing/realizing/understanding that I can stop the tradition of bringing up within ignorance, to give them a start in life to be able to become self-honest and self-responsible humans.

I commit myself as a mother to see/realize/understand that taking short cuts while being a parent will give me an end result that will be short on any level of life instructions and my children will pay the price as an consequential outflow of my ignorance.

I commit myself as a mother to see/realize/understand that being a mother doesn't mean losing my life to this one task, but instead it will mean a life task taken within self-responsiblity and self-honesty in the best interest of all.

4. Please mummy, one more story

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2219866/A-sad-ending-children-s-bedtime-story-Declining-attention-spans-mean-thing-past.html

According to a survey, bedtime stories are dying out due to less attention span in todays children. Parents report that their children choose screen-based activities over reading or being read to. Also teachers report a decrease in attention spans, kids of today are used to flashing pictures on a screen that last only a few seconds. Children are no longer trained to attend an activity with the same concentration for long periods of time. Parents wait, sais the survey, with reading to their child when it is at least 2 years old. Not being read to and not being stimulated to read by themselves will eventually make them miss out on education and life in general. Kids who do read outside the lessons do better in exams and are 13 times more likely to read above the expected level for their age, according the survey.

Reading and being read to is a tool for a child to start understanding it's world. When a child starts reading it is so excited, a whole new world or dimension is opening up to them. They are now able to direct their life according to the new achieved ability. Not stimulating your child's reading skills is deliberately giving your child a lag in life. It's not a competition with screen based activities, it's simply giving up when the child enjoys their screen watching more. Parents do not try to see whether the child is stimulated by nice or exciting stories, since a screen based activity is convenient and asking less from the parent who is tired after coming home from their job.

This way parents enter a vicious cycle, they have to work a lousy 9 to 5 job, when coming home tired they are not capable of really stimulating their kids within reading. Which results in children that miss out on education through lower reading skills, miss out on their surroundings and have to find the same lousy job their parents do. Why would we provide those disastrous ingredients to our kids when life is already though on the younger generations? Why would we deliberately deprive them from the opportunity to grow in life and become a self responsible citizen of the world?

Reading skills are valuable for so many areas in life, not being able to effectively read is a real limitation for the human kind. One isn't able to investigate or explore it's world and cross-refence materials or experiences in full potential. That's why amongst other reasons, the third world as it is today, will not be able to stand up and be it's own voice. They are limited and restricted to use written words or better the living word for the betterment of Self and in the best interest of all. If I can read to my child before bedtime, then all mothers should be able to do so and money may NEVER be an issue within this equation.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise as a mother that reading skills for my child are essential and that I'm the one that need to act in order to get my child engaged in reading through reading to my child and later by stimulating and offering cool stories for my child to relate to to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise as a mother that it is in fact my responsibility to teach my child the value of reading by being the living example for my child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise as a mother that my negative opinion about reading will be transferred onto my child and will have it's consequential outflow which then has to be walked in real time so that I'll get the message and no longer limit my child and loop within this point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise as a mother that I do not read when I am tired from work and project these feelings onto my child thinking that my child will be too tired to listen to a bedtime story before going to sleep, setting an example and limiting my child within it's reading skills.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise as a mother that it is easier for me to put my children in front of a screen and being able to do what I want, instead of combing my needs with the needs of my child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise as a mother that there is a down side to only let my children do screen-based activities, which cannot easily be reversed since my child already then will be behind within it's reading development.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise as a mother that I am able to give my child the ability to get used to reading and reading in general, while so many other mothers are not capable of doing so due to lack of money and therefore poor living circumstances.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise as a mother that I am privileged to give my child a good start in life with reading skills, but not taking this opportunity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise as a mother that my child is dependent on me and I have to act on behalf of my child till the moment my child is ready through the education I gave it to take self-responsibility.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realise as a mother that my opinion about reading and committing to my child is limiting my child as myself as the society I'm part of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to feel guilty about the fact that I disadvantaged my child through not being up to the task to assist and support my child to become an effective human being.

I commit myself as a mother to see and understand the importance of reading skills for my child as a stap stone to become effective in life.

I commit myself as a mother to no longer put my self-interest in front of my child and no longer trivialize the value of reading skills.

I commit myself as a mother to see and understand that my tiredness when physical is real, but when of the mind and used as a justification is unacceptable behaviour towards my child when limiting my child's chances in life.

I commit myself as a mother to place the needs of my child in perspective according to my physical reality and not use my physical reality as a justification to abdicate my self-responsibility towards myself as Life.

1. Paying the price of your parent's mistakes

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2212640/Four-girls-dragged-aeroplane-Australia-judge-rules-return-father-Italy.html?ICO=most_read_module

A family drama took place in the Australian city of Brisbane where 4 young sisters were taken to the airport by federal officers to be reunited with their Italian father in Italy. The Australian mother had 2 years ago taken the sisters on a holiday to Australia and never brought them back to Italy again. An Australian judge ordered that the sisters had to be returned to Europe. The 4 sisters didn't like the idea of going back to their father and live with him in Italy, they wanted to stay with their mum in Australia. The girls screamed, kicked and cried for their mum when being taken away by federal officers. The father had won a court battle under the provisions of the Hague Convention against child abduction and there was no way the sisters could stay with their mum in Australia.

So should we, as parents, all stay together for the sake of our children? No, growing up between the fights of your parents where no real warmth is found isn't exactly a stimulating environment for a child to grow up in. We simply have to go back in time, to answer this question. When 2 people meet and the chemistry is felt, it doesn't mean that this energy based in feelings and emotions, is a succes ingredient for a stunning relationship. The energy will eventually run out and you're left with the consequences of making choices based on this energy. When love is experienced and it is the motivator of your relationship, it is a matter of time to wait and see the love turn into fear, till the point that you will hate each other while not realising that we're only capable of hating ourselves and the other as ourselves through the eyes of ourselves. Staying in an abusive relationship is never a healthy thing to do, with kids being involved it's like spreading a disease and not knowing when it will reoccur.

When our parents are incapable of communicating effectively, the relationship will not stand and we, as a child, will be incapable of communicating effectively ourselves. When equals within a relationship are able to walk in each other's shoes, one is capable of realising and understanding whether behaviour is abusive and when it's not. So please don't make your children re-live the mistakes you made by leading them by example.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that my children will pay for the mistakes that I make in the life I share with them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise the importance of my role as a mother, thinking I can do as I please, not seeing/understanding that my children will follow/copy my behaviour uncensored and they will carry my burdens/mistakes in life with them throughout their lives as unresolved puzzles.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that when my relationship turns from love into the fear for each other and eventually ends up in hating each other, it is the result of believing in the mind energy of love and acting upon it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that when my relationship with my husband turns bad it has a ripple effect on the relationship with my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that by making my children to choose one parent over the other I'm giving them a learning ground in how to manipulate for their own gain, since they see me fight for my own self-interest as a living example.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that when I split up with the father of my children I force my children to choose me over their father, out of fear to loose the children as a point of pure self-interest.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to fear loosing my children and not knowing who I am anymore without my children, as if I loose myself along with loosing my children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that by hating my partner and fighting with my partner I send out the message to my children that unconditional love can be gone from one day to the other and therefore accepting and allowing my children to live in fear to loose my unconditional love as a real threat in their minds.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that the competition I am in with my ex-husband to win over the children is teaching them how to play me against my partner and the other way around, making excellent (future) manipulators out of them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that being in competition with my partner is acting from the ego and therefore dishonest and self-deception.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to fear that my ex-husband will win/have the children and therefore I have to make sure he will not be able to get them and keep them away from me, not realising that I'm doing the same to him as what I fear the most.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to hate my ex-husband so much that I do not want my children to be with him and I'm willing to take my children physically away from my ex-husband risking to violate the law out of fear that I will never see my children again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to fear not seeing my children ever again when I give into the whims of my ex-husband.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to be totally absorbed with the fear to loose my children and therefore loose my purpose in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to feel myself as the victim while I abducted the children in the first place.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that I myself have been staging the whole drama that took place with my children when they were taken away from me, through acting upon my fear to loose my children forever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that it was greediness that made me decide to take the children away from their father in order to have the children, like a possession/product, all for myself without my non-functional relationship being in the way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to see my children as something that belongs to me, as a right to have the children as mine due to being their mother.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise the inequality I place myself, my ex-husband and my children in when I see myself as the one that should have the children and the one that may decide over the children.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself as a mother to not realise that when my partner and I are one voice towards the children in common sense as life, in the best interest of all, it doesn't matter whether I am separate/together from/with my partner.

I commit myself as a mother to see and understand that my life has turned out this way, because I created it this way by holding on to the past and acting upon my memories.

I commit myself as a mother to no longer see my children as my possession, but instead see and understand what they need and how we can complete each other by learning from each other.

I commit myself as a mother to no longer identify myself with my role as mother and no longer make my tasks as a mother into a character that creates believes to such an extend that I'll do anything to not loose myself as a mother while perceiving that no longer being a mother equals death, instead of the death of a character.

I commit myself as a mother to no longer abuse my role as a mother to accept and allow myself to act within greediness/self-interest.

I commit myself as a mother to restore all the miscommunication and see in common sense on which grounds we can meet each other as being genetically connected with each other and I will aspire to seek ways where we, in the best interest of all, can be in each others lives without fearing each other, but instead learning from each other as life.